They say no parent should have to bury a child but there is no cliche to cover what to do when one of those parents is blamed for that loss.
Family and friends have gathered in the Blue Mountains west of Sydney to farewell two boys allegedly murdered by their mother earlier this month.
Nick Smith led mourners at St Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church at Springwood on Wednesday morning for the funeral of his sons Russ, 11, and Ben, 9.
The brothers will be together forever, laid to rest in the same casket.
The bodies of Russell and Ben, who attended nearby Our Lady of the Nativity Primary School at Lawson, were found in their Faulconbridge home on September 10.
Emergency services were called to the Chapman Parade house about 12pm that day, after Mr Smith made a concern-for-welfare call to police about his wife and children.
Russell and Ben’s bodies were located by Mr Smith, who had separated from his 42-year-old wife Trish and did not live in the family home.
Trish Smith, who was found with multiple stab wounds, was charged with two counts of murder on September 13.
Nick Smith released a statement the previous day, saying: ‘The loss of our two beautiful boys has caused unimaginable pain and distress.
‘They were happy, funny, outgoing boys, and were very much loved by their family and friends,’ Mr Smith said.
‘Like other boys their age, they loved sports, soccer, the Penrith Panthers, fishing, books, music, spending time with their friends and Max their pup.
‘We appreciate the kindness and compassion shown by the community.
‘We also ask the media respect our need for privacy at this time, and give us the time and space we need to grieve.’
The boys’ grandfather Geoff Densmore said last week he was not angry with his daughter, who reportedly suffered serious mental illness.
‘We really don’t know what happened,’ Mr Densmore told the Daily Telegraph from his home on the NSW Central Tablelands.
‘We had no idea she was unwell. Many prayers and private masses have been said for her.
‘They kids, they were special kids, so special. I have to put them under the ground.
‘You can’t imagine what it’s like. Imagine if it happened to your family. I still can’t understand, Ben… Russell. They’re gone.’
Mr Smith has supported his wife who remains in custody as she awaits her next appearance in court.
Trish Smith’s lawyer Paul McGirr has told Daily Mail the estranged couple exchanged loving messages in the hours before their sons’ alleged murders.
She sent him a text saying ‘I love you’ on the night before the boys’ bodies were located and he replied with the same words.
‘This is just an absolute tragedy for everyone,’ Mr McGirr said last week. ‘There’s parents, grandparents, cousins.
‘We’re dealing with lovely families that are just absolutely devastated. Everyone’s hurting. It’s just awful.’
Mr McGirr said until the horrific events of two weeks ago much of the parenting the couple shared had continued as normal.
‘He wasn’t living in the house but I think it was a very amicable split and he was still very hands-on and they were raising the kids together,’ he said.
‘They were just raising the kids in a separated fashion but very amicably. That’s why it’s so important that everyone in the entire family is given support.
‘The whole family on both sides, her family and his family, have been extremely supportive of her.’
Following Russell and Ben’s deaths the Catholic Schools Parramatta Diocese issued a statement about their loss.
‘Our Catholic schools community is devastated by the tragic deaths of Ben and Russell, two students of Our Lady of the Nativity Primary School in Lawson,’ it said.
‘Counselling and wellbeing support is available to students and staff at Our Lady of the Nativity today and will continue to be provided in the coming weeks.
‘The care and kindness of the broader Blue Mountains community at this difficult time is much appreciated.’
Trish Smith appeared in Parramatta Local Court via audio-visual link from Amber Laurel Correctional Centre on September 14 and did not apply for bail.
Smith will next appear in court on November 8.