A woman has asked for advice after refusing to go to her own sister’s wedding because the venue chosen for the big day could be ‘endangering’ to her physical health.
Taking to Reddit on Thursday, the person in question shared a lengthy post about her dilemma and explained that she doesn’t feel comfortable attending her sibling’s nuptials because the location ‘is pretty much not accessible to wheelchairs.’
‘I have a significant disability (paraplegia) and cannot move at all without a wheelchair, so going there would be tough,’ the woman wrote, adding that she’s ‘very happy’ for her 30-year-old sister and there’s ‘no issues’ between them.
Recalling the conversation between her and her sibling, the Reddit user wrote: ‘She told me that I could be carried up any stairs and then stay at the tables, but that’s not something I’m comfortable with.
‘Getting carried is very uncomfortable and dangerous, especially when done repeatedly by someone that isn’t used to it, and I really don’t want to have to be carried to the toilets at a wedding full of strangers… or even worse, have an accident,’ she continued.
She went on to say that she ‘wouldn’t expect people to just sit’ with her while the celebrations happening, but added: ‘The idea of sitting there and watch for hours feels wrong.’
Referring to her condition, she explained: ‘After a few hours sitting hurts a lot and skin becomes a concern, but I wouldn’t ask someone to leave the wedding just for me.’
The woman stressed that she wasn’t upset with her sister for picking the particular venue.
A woman has asked for advice after refusing to go to her own sister’s wedding (stock image)
‘It’s their day and I don’t expect them to plan it based on my needs,’ she wrote, adding: ‘But I also don’t think she understands that it’s not as easy as she thinks. There are so many things that could go very wrong.’
Revealing what she wants to do in order to make it up to her sister and her partner, she said: ‘I intend to get them a nice gift and propose to maybe spend quality time together afterwards/before.’
However, she then divulged that one of her cousins appeared to be putting pressure on her to attend and argued that it’s ‘very important’ for her sister.
‘[They said] I should make an effort and “get out of my comfort zone,” but I feel like endangering my health isn’t as simple as getting out of my comfort zone.’
She ended the post by asking: ‘WIBTA (would I be the a**hole) for not going?’ and people were quick to comment and share their thoughts.
Defending her decision, one person wrote: ‘You would not be the a**hole in this situation. You have more of a responsibility to yourself and your physical health and safety than you do to your sister’s wedding day.’
A second Reddit user commented: ‘You are being completely sensible. You aren’t making demands, you aren’t asking to be catered. You’re happy they got their dream venue.’
They then suggested: ‘Maybe ask for someone to zoom the ceremony so you can see it live so you’re still present for the event? NTA (not the a**hole).’
The Reddit user, who has paraplegia, explained in a post that her sibling had chosen to get married in a venue that wasn’t wheelchair accessible (stock image)
The woman took to Reddit to share her dilemma and insisted ‘there are no issues’ between her and her sister
A third person fumed: ‘I don’t understand why they wouldn’t pick an accessible venue. Nor do I understand why they think it’s acceptable to tell a grown-ass woman ‘people can carry you’ as though she was an infant. Un-freaking-acceptable!’
A fourth suggested: ‘Tell the cousins thank you for volunteering to put me on the toilet every hour. NTA they’re being ridiculous and you’re being very generous by not being upset.’
Someone else pointed out: ‘NTA – weddings are not court summons. If the venue is not wheelchair accessible, then you should not feel pressured to go. The fact that anyone thinks you can be carried everywhere and are expected to sit there is beyond ridiculous.
‘It’s not a matter of getting our of your “comfort zone,” it’s a matter of safety – for you and whoever they think will be carrying you,’ they added.