Tulisa Contostavlos is leaving no stone unturned in her upcoming autobiography, detailing her battle with addiction, two suicide attempts and her sex tape scandal.
The singer, 37, vowed to be ‘brutally honest’ in the tome, titled Judgement: Love, Trials and Tribulations, and has stayed true to her word.
According to The Mirror, the N-Dubz star charts her ‘year from hell’ amid her drug sting trial, which led to two suicide attempts.
She penned of the day she found out she was going to be charged on suspicion of being involved with the supply of Class A drugs: ‘Why is this happening to me?
‘What’s the point in being alive just to be miserable? How am I ever going to find happiness after this? Even if I’m found innocent, I’ll be empty inside by the time I get to the end of it, and my life will be ruined.’
Thankfully, she was found by former best friend Gareth Varey who called an ambulance after finding her in her bathroom surrounded by empty packets of sleeping pills.
Tulisa Contostavlos is leaving no stone unturned in her upcoming autobiography, detailing her battle with addiction, two suicide attempts and her sex tape scandal
The singer detailed her battle with addiction, suicide attempts and her heartbreaking response to her sex tape scandal in the tome, titled Judgement: Love, Trials and Tribulations
While Tulisa was revived, she made a second attempt on her life months later amid her trial, which resulted in her being hospitalised for three days.
Throughout any challenging times, Tulisa would try and comfort herself by locking herself in the bathroom.
She explained: ‘When I was a child, the bathroom was the only room in my house with a lock. I had always locked myself in there in times of distress, whether it was because my parents were going at it like two bulls in a china shop again, or my mentally ill mother was going off the rails. It had always been my place of safety.
‘And twenty years later, here I was: back lying on the bathroom floor. Deep-rooted issues, I suppose. When the sex tape had come out, I had slept on the bathroom floor for five days.’
Tulisa’s ex Justin Edwards – who she had broken up with in 2009 – released a sex tape of her in 2012 during the height of her fame.
Revenge porn was not illegal at the time, meaning she only managed to get a court apology from him.
Elsewhere in the book, Tulisa also revealed that while she suffered from depression she became addicted to sleeping tablets and benzodiazepines, a habit she broke free from last year after she ‘found her peace and faith’.
Tulisa’s memoir documents her rise to prominence and subsequent fall from grace after being targeted by the disgraced ‘Fake Sheikh’, Mazher Mahmood.
Mazher Mahmood, also known as the Fake Sheik, was jailed for 15 months for perverting the course of justice after duping Tulisa into buying cocaine while he posed as a film producer
Tulisa’s ex Justin Edwards – who she had broken up with in 2009 – released a sex tape of her in 2012 during the height of her fame (Justin pictured at court in 2012)
The singer later admitted her life ‘fell apart’ following an elaborate sting that resulted in her being arrested on suspicion of supplying Class A drugs, an accusation she vehemently denied.
As the drama played out in court, Tulisa opted to keep a journal in which she detailed the toll her trial had taken on her personal life, and the devastating impact it had on her career.
Released by Blink Publishing for Bonnier Books UK, Judgement is now available to purchase.
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