Size. Does it matter? Do women discuss it? Is mine enough?
These are the questions so many of my male clients ask. And while some women do privately insist that bigger really is better – sorry, fellas! – it really comes down to personal preference.
From an anatomical perspective, the average vaginal depth is around 9.3 centimeters (just a little under four inches) at rest and slightly extended during arousal.
Compare that figure with the average length of an erection, which stands at around 5.5 inches, and you might wonder why anything larger would make sense. Where would the extra inches go?
Nonetheless, some research does indicate a link between a partner’s larger size and increased female sexual satisfaction. And it’s also true that a smaller than average member can be a lifelong source of sadness for men.
So how can you make your modestly endowed man feel like a king… while also improving things for yourself? Here are my top tips…
How can you make your modestly endowed man feel like a king, while also improving things for yourself? Here are my top tips…
The ‘angling’ technique
Even subtle changes to your usual routine of positions can have a powerful impact on pleasure.
‘Angling’ is a method that involves rotating, raising or lowering the hips to make use of everything your partner has to offer.
Some positions that encourage particularly deep penetration include sitting on top of your partner while facing the opposite direction, resting your legs on either side of his shoulders while lying on your back, or bending one leg at the knee (the other remaining straight) with your man on top during missionary.
A pillow or folded towel placed underneath your hips while lying on your back may also prove useful.
Kegel exercises
One of the easiest and most effective ways for women to increase sexual satisfaction is through strengthening the pelvic floor (the group of muscles that support the bladder, bowel and vagina) with kegels.
These relatively simple exercises can be performed at any time of the day – wherever you are – by intermittently tightening the same muscles you use to stop your flow of urine.
You can practice them as often as you like, though experts tend to recommend engaging in three sets of 10 to 15 kegels per day.
The result is stronger orgasms and increased arousal – which will also hopefully leave your partner feeling like he’s doing all the right things in bed, no matter what he’s packing.
Switch up your contraception
If you use condoms, it is worth remembering that they are available in a variety of materials and designs – all of which can change how intimacy feels.
Labels like ‘ultra-thin’, ‘elite’ and ‘ultra-sensitive’ often indicate the prophylactic is made from thinner material, resulting in a more intense and ‘fuller’ feeling for both parties.
One of the easiest ways for women to increase sexual satisfaction is through strengthening the pelvic floor with kegels.
Try toys!
Although bedroom toys designed for men (such as rings and plugs) are often thought to be useful for countering issues like erectile dysfunction by inducing blood flow, it is worth remembering that increased firmness also enhances size – making it seem and feel larger than usual.
Be mindful
A 2023 study in Denmark that encouraged participants to be mindful of each individual body movement during intercourse, rather than focusing on the overall sexual experience, found that couples became less concerned with the problems that had previously plagued their relationships.
Next time you and a partner become intimate, pay attention to the sensation of each movement as it’s happening. From there, adjust those movements and communicate, determining which are keepers and which you can do without. The result can be transformative.