They say no parent should have to bury a child but there is no cliche to cover what to do when one of those parents is blamed for that loss.
Family and friends gathered in the Blue Mountains west of Sydney on Wednesday morning to farewell two boys allegedly murdered by their mother earlier this month.
Nick Smith led mourners at St Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church at Springwood for the funeral of his sons Russ, 11, and Ben, 9.
The brothers will be together forever, laid to rest in the same coffin.
Students from Our Lady of the Nativity Primary School at Lawson were given the day off and many attended the service in sporting uniforms, including jumpers from their beloved Penrith Panthers.
Children carried two white banners into the church, each banner bearing a cross representing their dead friends.
Photographs of each boy were displayed inside the church, above Panthers jerseys.
Mr Smith, who was one of the pallbearers, delivered a video eulogy which was played to the estimated 900 mourners.
He remembered how Russell’s favourite pastime was to go to BlueBet Stadium and pretend he was playing for the Panthers, with his father providing commentary in the background.
Russell had been outgoing, funny, kind, loving, respectful, loyal, determined, caring, trusting and inclusive, his father said.
Ben, or ‘Benny’, enjoyed collecting things – rocks, reptiles, bugs, Pokemon and soccer cards – and had a deep love of nature.
Together, the brothers would playfully wrestle, Ben calling himself ‘Beef Nugget’ and Russell going by ‘Crumb Sausage’.
‘One of the things the boys loved was family,’ Mr Smith said, remembering their times visiting grandparents in regional NSW.
Both were also big music fans, attending Red Hot Chili Peppers, Post Malone and Snoop Dogg concerts with their father.
Tickets to upcoming The Kid Laroi and Childish Gambino gigs will now go unused.
Another love was for family pets, starting with Warren and Bruce the goldfish, and followed by a whole backyard menagerie.
Mr Smith directly addressed his sons near the end of his eulogy.
‘You boys have really been part of such an amazing community,’ he said.
‘Just the last week, just hearing people telling stories about you both and the things they loved about you and just how known you were.
‘It was the things that you used to do and the way that you’d interact with people – the outreach in the community has been amazing.’
He made a final request to locals to ensure the memory of his boys lived on forever.
‘The one thing I do ask is every time people come back to the Blue Mountains when you come back from your adventures, please go visit the boys,’ he said.
‘Please go talk to them and tell them all the great things you’ve done since you last saw them, or you last spoke to them.
‘And just sit with them and just and fill them in about the wonderful adventures you’re having, all the experiences you’re having out there and just keep that connection with them.
‘And just make sure that they’re never forgotten and make sure that they always live inside all of you.’
In his final farewell to his sons, Mr Smith said the boys had touched so many lives through their family, their school and their sporting clubs.
‘My beautiful boys, Russ and Ben, its been an absolute, absolute privilege to be your father and I’ll always hold you so deep in my heart,’ he said.
‘You had such beautiful little lives. You had such beautiful adventures. You were such wonderful boys – cheeky, funny, smart, charismatic, and you just made the world such a better place.
‘You’re my world, you’re my little men, you’re the best friend club crew and we just had so much more adventure to come.
‘I’m going to miss you two boys so much. Your memories are going to live long, your legacy is going to live long. You too boys have just touched this world in such an amazing way and you’ll never be forgotten.
‘Russ and Ben, I love you so much and I’ll never stop loving you and nobody else will either.’
In his homily, Father Christopher del Rosario said it was normal to be asking hard questions at such a time.
‘The question that has been coming to mind, especially to Nick and his family, is why?’
‘Why these two beautiful children? Why Russell and Ben?
‘And to be honest, I don’t have the answers to that question.’
The boys mother Trish, who is on remand at Silverwater women’s prison, was not named during the funeral but there was a reference to her in the prayers of the faithful.
‘For those suffering mental illness,’ the prayer began. ‘Loving God you are always near us, especially when we are suffering and vulnerable.
‘Surround them with your healing presence that they may know that they are not alone.
There was also reference to the first responders who had attended the scene of the boys’ alleged murders.
‘For the emergency services personnel who responded with compassion and care for the family at this difficult time,’ the congregation prayed.
‘May their efforts and dedication always be recognised and appreciated.’
The bodies of Russell and Ben were found in their Faulconbridge home on September 10.
Emergency services were called to the Chapman Parade house about 12pm that day, after Mr Smith made a concern-for-welfare call to police about his wife and children.
Russell and Ben’s bodies were located by Mr Smith, who had separated from his 42-year-old wife Trish and did not live in the family home.
Trish Smith, who was found with multiple stab wounds, was charged with two counts of murder on September 13.
The boys’ grandfather Geoff Densmore said last week he was not angry with his daughter, who reportedly suffered serious mental illness.
‘We really don’t know what happened,’ Mr Densmore told the Daily Telegraph from his home on the NSW Central Tablelands.
‘We had no idea she was unwell. Many prayers and private masses have been said for her.
‘They kids, they were special kids, so special. I have to put them under the ground.
Mr Smith has supported his wife who remains in custody as she awaits her next appearance in court.
Trish Smith’s lawyer Paul McGirr has told Daily Mail the estranged couple exchanged loving messages in the hours before their sons’ alleged murders.
She sent him a text saying ‘I love you’ on the night before the boys’ bodies were located and he replied with the same words.
‘This is just an absolute tragedy for everyone,’ Mr McGirr said last week. ‘There’s parents, grandparents, cousins.
‘We’re dealing with lovely families that are just absolutely devastated. Everyone’s hurting. It’s just awful.’
Mr McGirr said until the horrific events of two weeks ago much of the parenting the couple shared had continued as normal.
‘He wasn’t living in the house but I think it was a very amicable split and he was still very hands-on and they were raising the kids together,’ he said.
Following Russell and Ben’s deaths the Catholic Schools Parramatta Diocese issued a statement about their loss.
‘Our Catholic schools community is devastated by the tragic deaths of Ben and Russell, two students of Our Lady of the Nativity Primary School in Lawson,’ it said.
‘Counselling and wellbeing support is available to students and staff at Our Lady of the Nativity today and will continue to be provided in the coming weeks.
‘The care and kindness of the broader Blue Mountains community at this difficult time is much appreciated.’
Trish Smith appeared in Parramatta Local Court via audio-visual link from Amber Laurel Correctional Centre on September 14 and did not apply for bail.
Smith will next appear in court on November 8.