Hollywood glamor has never looked as dreary as it did this weekend when it was reflected in the murky waters of a Venetian canal.
There was an undercover Leonardo DiCaprio loafing around the Italian city with his hat brim pulled over his eyes; newly single-and-ready-to-mingle Orlando Bloom wasting no time shimmying up to young new companion; and the shameless Kardashian-Jenner clan snapping fleshy selfies at every turn.
An estimated 100 private jets flew into Venice for the three-day Bezos-Sanchez bacchanalia, summoned to an utterly grotesque display of extravagance by a invitation that looked as if it had been made on Microsoft Paint.
But the only thing more off-putting (and pathetic) than the self-obsessed A-listers who attended Jeff and Lauren’s wedding were the B-listers left off the invite list.
Actress Charlize Theron may as well have been green when she took dead aim at the King and Queen of Amazon on Saturday night.
Speaking at her fifth annual eponymous fundraising event for humanitarian aid to Africa, the 49-year-old Oscar winner made clear – at least to me – that she would have killed an endangered white rhino just for the chance to be at Lauren’s table.
‘I think we might be the only people who did not get an invite to the Bezos wedding,’ Theron told her wealthy guests, ‘but that’s OK because they suck and we’re cool.’
Hollywood glamor has never looked as dreary as it did this weekend, when it was reflected in the murky waters of a Venetian canal.
There was an undercover Leonardo DiCaprio loafing around Venice with his hat brim pulled over his eyes, newly single-and-ready-to-mingle Orlando Bloom wasting no time shimmying up to young new companion and the shameless Kardashian-Jenner clan snapping fleshy selfies at every turn.
Right on, Charlize. Who cares about invitations to the world’s most exclusive events?
Oh, you do, having attended the Met Gala five times since 1999.
But that was for a good cause, I’m sure.
One can almost feel the red-hot glow of resentment.
Take former NBC Today show co-anchor Katie Couric, who apparently couldn’t stop herself from commenting on a picture of 55-year-old Lauren in her white lace Dolce & Gabbana bridal gown.
‘Welcome to the eighties – when big hair and conspicuous consumption ruled. Apparently tacky is back,’ Couric posted on Instagram, before quickly deleting it.
A profile in courage, I’d say.
Perhaps it occurred to Couric that ‘conspicuous consumption’ may also apply to her seven-bedroom, six-bathroom estate in Long Island’s celeb-heavy Hamptons.
Actress Olivia Munn, meanwhile, chose to highlight the accomplishments of Jeff’s ex-wife Mackenzie Scott, who has pledged to donate at least half of her $38 billion divorce settlement to charity.
‘Truly incredible,’ Munn commented on Monday.
Right on, Charlize. Who cares about invitations to the world’s most exclusive events? Oh, you do, having attended the Met Gala five times since 1999.
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Leonardo DiCaprio hiding under a hat says everything about Hollywood's titanic egos
Incredible, indeed.
Munn is best friends with much-photographed attendee Kim Kardashian.
Let’s hope Kimmy brought her back a doggy bag from the reception.
Elsewhere, comedian Rosie O’Donnell, who never seems to miss an opportunity to grandstand, blasted the Bezos-Sanchez wedding in the form of a poem published to her personal Substack.
‘It turned my stomach, seeing all these billionaires,’ O’Donnell began. ‘Gathering in the gross excess of it all, the show of it.’
O’Donnell even criticized legendary media mogul Oprah Winfrey, who attended the wedding with her pal Gayle King, writing: ‘Is Oprah friends with Jeff Bezos, really – how is that possible, he treats his employees with disdain, by any metric he is not a nice man.’
Coming from you, Rosie, that’s quite a compliment.
O’Donnell infamously shared a video in 2016 musing about the 10-year-old Barron Trump – and asking her deranged followers if they thought he was autistic.
Comedian Rosie O’Donnell, who never seems to miss an opportunity to grandstand, blasted the Bezos-Sanchez wedding in the form of a poem published to her personal Substack.
By any metric, O’Donnell is no judge of character.
Spare me the handwringing.
I doubt that Rosie and Co wouldn’t have come running had Jeff and Lauren’s gaudy invite arrived in the mail.
Complaints against the billionaire mogul’s wedding were one thing coming from exasperated Venetian locals, who watched their sinking city brought low by hordes of Hollywood’s worst.
But when the whining comes from other elitists, if doesn’t have the same bite.