Princess Mary’s bridesmaid Amber Petty has opened up about her past experiences with domestic violence.
In a poignant piece for Stellar Magazine, Petty, 53, shared her deeply personal journey.
Petty has invested heavily in therapeutic work, striving to break the cycle of attracting abusive partners and overcoming her pattern of staying despite recognising early warning signs.
‘I’ve done what I consider something of a therapy masterclass around various aspects of my life. And I’ve told myself over the years that I’ve broken my pattern of attracting these kinds of men, and my addiction to staying after I spotted the first red flag,’ she revealed.
Therapy has provided her with the confidence and sense of safety she desperately needed.
Princess Mary’s bridesmaid Amber Petty, 53, (pictured) has opened up about her past experiences with domestic violence
However, she acknowledged the painful reality that her abusers likely faced no consequences.
‘I did all of it knowing that those two violent men – one who used psychological violence and the other physical (which was worse? I still can’t answer that) – would likely ask nothing of themselves. Nor would anyone else ask anything of them, either.’
Petty recounted a harrowing incident where she was physically assaulted by one of her ex-partners.
In a poignant piece for Stellar Magazine, Petty shared her deeply personal journey
‘I believed nothing would be done to the man who punched me with a closed fist, minutes after pushing his forehead forcefully into mine as he screamed words I don’t recall and his spittle covered my face. At the time, I believed that seeking justice would certainly require more than I could endure,’ she wrote.
Describing the moments of terror, she detailed how she tried to distance herself from her abuser.
‘I did step backwards multiple times, hoping he’d give me the ‘luxury’ of enough space so I didn’t have to feel his breath. But he purposely kept inching closer, eyes blank with fury drilling into mine as he reconnected his head down upon mine again and again.’
Mary chose Amber (left) and her two sisters to be bridesmaids at her 2004 wedding to Crown Prince Frederik
Ultimately, Petty felt trapped and unsure of how to escape.
‘Eventually I didn’t move away anymore. Was I supposed to run away? Was that the answer to the question of what would keep me safe? So many voices come into my head when I relive this and other moments of terror. I now know they’re not mine; they’re collectively yours. The you who I assumed would judge me over these events.’
In her most vulnerable moments, she hoped her abuser’s rage would subside if she remained silent and submissive.
‘Which is why when his clenched fist hit my lower stomach, I wasn’t ready for it. (In what world should I be ready?) Instantly I hit the floor, and my body instinctively moved into the foetal position. I could feel his foot at the edge of my back as I realised I felt no pain. I was unable to bring air into my lungs,’ she recounted.
If you or someone you know needs support, call 1800 737 732 or visit 1800respect.org.au.
Amber is pictured with Princess Mary and her daughter Princess Isabella in 2008