Lily Allen has heartbreakingly revealed that ‘people think she hates her children’ and insisted she ‘doesn’t want them to feel like they have to prop her up’ in her first podcast episode back after her stay in a trauma centre.
It was reported last month that the 39-year-old British singer checked herself into the £8,000-a-week clinic after telling friends she was close to a nervous breakdown following her break-up from actor David Harbour.
Lily called time on her marriage to Stranger Things star David in December after discovering he was using the celebrity dating app Raya.
After struggling on her return to the US, Lily announced that she would be taking some time off from her podcast Miss Me? which she hosts with best friend Miquita Oliver.
And now in her first episode back after weeks, she has candidly lifted the lid on her time in the treatment centre and what pushed her to get help.
Lily revealed: ‘People think I hate my children. I really don’t. I absolutely adore my children and I’m in a situation now where I really have to be my strongest self for them.
Lily Allen has heartbreakingly revealed that ‘people think she hates her children’ and insisted she ‘doesn’t want them to feel like they have to prop her up’ in a new podcast episode
She shares her two daughters Ethel, 13, and Marnie, 11, with her ex-husband Sam Cooper (pictured in 2022)
‘I felt like it was getting harder and harder for me to be able to show up for them in the way that they need me to.
‘It was a big decision to have to leave them for a few weeks to go and focus on myself but ultimately it was for them so that I can get us through this bit. I needed some help to be able to do that.’
She continued: ‘I don’t want them to ever feel like they have to prop me up. None of this is their fault and it’s my job to support them and make them feel safe and secure, and I just don’t think I was able to do that because of the emotional turmoil that I was in at the time.
‘But I do feel like I am now. I’m not saying that I’m 100% there or getting it 100% right or that I ever will but I’m definitely in a stronger place.’
Lily shares her two daughters Ethel, 13, and Marnie, 11, with her ex-husband Sam Cooper.
Elsewhere in the podcast episode, she explained how she started doing different forms of meditation to stop thinking about the past.
The hitmaker also revealed how she’s now started working on a musical she’s been commissioned to do.
Lily said: ‘I went into a treatment centre for a few weeks, which was great. I did lots of group therapy and some like individual therapy.
‘I needed some time and space away from everything. And I did a lot of shadow work – lots of work about my inner child stuff.
It was reported last month that the singer checked herself in after telling friends she was close to a nervous breakdown following her break-up from David Harbour (pictured together in 2022)
Lily revealed: ‘People think I hate my children. I really don’t. I absolutely adore my children and I’m in a situation now where I really have to be my strongest self for them’
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‘It wasn’t easy by any stretch. And it’s a journey, it’s a life long journey of healing. It’s not a quick fix.
‘But I’ve started meditating every day now, at least two or three times a day. That’s really helping me.’
When quizzed on what app she’s using, Lily recalled: ‘I am using an app called Plum Village. Plum Village is a place in the south of France that was started by a Budhhist monk called Thich Nhat Tanh.
‘His sort of protoges, they all sort of have meditations which I used for different things. So like for deep relaxation, and for like connection to the Earth.
‘I’m not a particularly spiritual person as we know, but it helps me to focus on my breath work and to try and be more living in the moment rather than thinking about the past too much and worrying about the future too much.
‘That’s what I’ve been focusing on. And then about a week ago I came to LA.’
She added: ‘I made my Instagram comeback. I’ve been commissioned to do a musical so I’m here starting on that.
‘It will be a long process but this little stint is the beginning. And it’s been going really well.’
Lily also revealed that she had no idea the LA wildifires were going on as she had no access to the outside world while she was in the treatment centre.
Elsewhere in the podcast episode, she explained how she started doing different forms of meditation to stop thinking about the past
She recalled: ‘When I was in my treatment centre, the LA fires broke out. This was happening completely unbeknownst to me because I had no access to my mobile phone, there was no TV.
‘There was nothing. It was all very much about me and my head and the other people that were there and their heads.
‘The outside world was to make no effect on the work that we were doing. So then when I got out and I heard about these fires I was like f****** hell that sounds intense. And then a week later I was out here.’
It comes just after Lily suggested her pop hiatus is about to end as she returned to work.
The British star has not released an album or single in seven years, opting instead to develop a successful stage career in London’s West End and launch the podcast.
Taking to Instagram on Thursday evening, Lily revealed she was currently working on an unspecified project with singer, songwriter and producer Chloe Angelides.
New photos capture the pair hard at work, with both wearing headphones while Allen writes potential lyrics in a large notebook.
A keyboard, guitars and a microphone stand are pictured in front of a soundproofed wall, while an array of wires and leads are strewn across the floor.
It comes just after Lily suggested her pop hiatus is about to end as she returned to work
Recent social media activity suggested she is back in the recording studio
In another picture the star is captured alongside actor Daniel Nguyen as he takes a selfie in front of a large bathroom mirror
Captioning the post, Allen wrote: ‘Working late…’
In another picture the star is captured alongside actor Daniel Nguyen as he takes a selfie in front of a large bathroom mirror.
The mother-of-two has previously detailed the months of agony she has been through while suffering from panic attacks and a lack of focus, ahead of checking into the clinic.
Lily explained how she had tried to attend her podcast’s Christmas lunch but was forced to leave after having an attack.
She told podcast listeners: ‘I know I’ve been talking about it for months but I’ve been spiralling and spiralling. It’s got out of control, I’ve tried.
‘I came to the Miss Me? Christmas lunch and had a panic attack and had to go home and I went to see something at the theatre the other night with my friends Carla and Claire and I had to leave at half time.
‘I can’t concentrate on anything except the pain I’m going through. It’s really hard.’
When asked if it was easier now her daughters are older, she said: ‘Yeah, we are a support network for each other and encourage each other to talk about or feelings, but I think the main thing is telling them we’re going to get through it and be fine.’