Many of the late Queen’s granddaughters and great-granddaughters have proudly been given Elizabeth as a middle name in tribute to the family’s beloved matriarch.
But Harry and Meghan went a step further when they called their daughter Lilibet, the very personal term of endearment for the former monarch used only by her closest family and friends.
In fact, I understand the Queen was so upset by the Sussexes’ decision that she told aides: ‘I don’t own the palaces, I don’t own the paintings, the only thing I own is my name. And now they’ve taken that.’
Harry and Meghan would not have intended to cause her grief – over this, at any rate.
Barricaded in their Californian cocoon, blanketed by the cosy schmaltz of their new showbiz life, it simply wouldn’t have occurred to the couple that such a gesture would cause offence.
The then 95-year-old monarch was taken aback when she was told by her grandson of his intention to give his daughter the name Lilibet in her honour but didn’t feel, given the circumstances, she could say no
But it seems that it did – as well-placed sources made clear to myself and others at the time.
The row erupted again this week thanks to my colleague Robert Hardman’s excellent – and well-sourced – new biography of King Charles III, which is being serialised in the Daily Mail.
Hardman says one member of the late Queen’s staff told him that she was ‘as angry as I’d ever seen her’ after the Duke and Duchess publicly stated they would not have used her private family nickname if she had not been ‘supportive’.
They were reacting to a story, not published by one of the popular British newspapers the Sussexes so openly despise, but by the BBC, of all places.
The national broadcaster’s royal correspondent, Jonny Dymond, reported being told by a ‘Palace source’ that the Queen was ‘never asked’ by Harry and Meghan about the use of her childhood nickname.
Dymond said his source ‘disputed’ reports in the wake of the announcement of the name that Harry and Meghan had spoken to the Queen to garner her blessing.
It’s what a lot of us were saying, one way or another, back in 2021.
But the fact that the BBC – the world’s leading public service broadcaster – was now stating it added a whole new level of gravitas.
The Sussexes’ spokesman did not hesitate to denounce the report and insisted the Queen was the first family member Harry called with the joyous news of his long-awaited daughter’s birth.
There were further questions for it later emerged that they had registered Lilibet Diana as a ‘domain name’ on the internet before their daughter was born
He said that during their conversation ‘he shared their hope of naming their daughter Lilibet in her honour. Had she not been supportive, they would not have used the name’.
They then used their favoured legal firm, Schillings, to issue a letter to the BBC and other media threatening action, suggesting the report that the Queen was not asked for permission was ‘false and defamatory and should not be repeated’.
Notably, the BBC did not back down.
Indeed, there were further questions for the couple when it later emerged that they had registered Lilibet Diana as a ‘domain name’ on the internet before their daughter was even born and they had seemingly asked the Queen for permission.
In all honesty, I was not told at the time that the Queen was ‘angry’. That was not a word that was ever used to me, personally.
But what at least two sources made clear – reluctantly, I might add, since in the wake of their score-settling Oprah interview, everyone at Buckingham Palace was treading on eggshells for fear of further hostilities with the Sussexes – was that the suggestion they had sought the Queen’s approval was a rather one-sided interpretation of what had actually occurred.
As it was described to me, the then 95-year-old monarch was taken aback when she was told by her grandson of his intention to give his daughter the name Lilibet in her honour but didn’t feel, given the circumstances, she could say no.
You might describe it as being pushed into an impossible corner.
And that certainly makes sense when you now consider her remark about ‘palaces and paintings’ which, as well as most of her jewels, cars and even furniture, were never hers to own.
She was, in most respects, simply the conservator of them for future generations on behalf of the nation.
However her pet name, Lilibet, which sweetly stuck after she could never pronounce her own name correctly as a toddler, was hers – and hers alone.
In fact until then it had only ever been used by her grandfather, her parents, her late husband and a handful of her closest friends and relatives.
The Sussexes’ spokesman did not hesitate to denounce the report and insisted the Queen was the first family member Harry called with the joyous news of the birth of his long-awaited daughter’ Lilibet, pictured
As someone who had enjoyed a faultless career as an international stateswoman, the elderly Queen, it seems, was still willing to bite her lip (publicly that is) – until she saw her name being weaponised by lawyers in a fight against the British public service broadcaster.
And according to Robert Hardman, despite posting their good wishes on social media Buckingham Palace flatly refused to be ‘co-opted’ into ‘propping up’ Harry and Meghan’s version of events.
They firmly ‘rebuffed’ their requests to do so, which ultimately, it seems, led the Sussexes’ threats of legal action to quietly dissipate.
In truth, it is really rather sad that the name of a child continues to cause rancour. Little Lilibet deserves none of this.
But the fact that loyal staff speak about it even now shows that many consider the Sussexes’ behaviour towards the late Queen to have been at best misguided and at worst unforgivable in the twilight of her reign.