This Morning’s relationship expert Michelle Elman has revealed that she believes her cheating ex genuinely loved her, despite being left devastated by his betrayal.
In April 2023, Michelle was left heartbroken after discovering she had been betrayed by her partner of three years, just hours after their engagement.
Speaking to while promoting her new podcast, In All Honesty, Michelle offered her advice to fans who are struggling with their own heartbreak.
She admitted that she was in shock for the first three months since her split, and went onto feel a wave of anger.
While she may have appeared to have been handling the breakup well, in the coming months following her split, her more vulnerable emotions eventually kicked in.
This Morning’s relationship expert Michelle Elman has revealed that she believes her cheating ex genuinely loved her, despite being left devastated by his betrayal
In April 2023, Michelle was left heartbroken after discovering she had been betrayed by her partner of three years, just hours after their engagement
Reflecting on her experience, she said that while people cope with a split in many different ways, a common emotion is typically shame.
She said feeling this way is normal, but there is a healthy way to manage it.
After ‘utilising her whole life coaching toolbox’ to grow through her own heartbreak, she has now lifted the lid on the best ways to cope after breaking up with a partner who does not know how to love you.
She told : ‘I’ve been saying a lot to people who go through similar situations is that the shame is not yours because I understand that the instinct when you have been cheated on is to be embarrassed or to feel ashamed and that shame does not belong to you.’
Michelle’s first top tip for healing through this is to ‘feel all of it’ because ‘every single wave will come.’
Reflecting on her own journey she said: ‘There were points where I was like Why am I not more angry? Don’t worry, it will come. I just wasn’t at that point. I think what probably was most shocking to my friends and family is that anger came very late. And it also wasn’t a lot.
‘Especially as a life coach, anger is one of the emotions I’m most comfortable with. And it just was the one that just I didn’t feel as angry as I thought I would be.’
She then said her next piece of advice was to ‘stop judging the order you are having your emotions’.
In All Honesty With Michelle Elmen discusses these issues with some celebrity guests and unpicks how to cope with a breakup and many other daily life issues
Speaking to while promoting her new podcast, In All Honesty , Michelle offered her advice to fans who are struggling with their own heartbreak
Reflecting on her experience, she said that while people cope with a split in many different ways, a common emotion is typically shame
‘I think we have a cookie cutter idea of the order of a breakup like you’re meant to be crying first, then you’re meant to be sad; it doesn’t necessarily happen that way,’ she said.
‘When I was at my most sad was probably three months after it happened.
‘Straight after it happened, it was a lot of shock, it was almost survival mode, just trying to keep going and my mind almost trying to understand what had happened.
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‘I think a lot of the thing that adds to the pain of a breakup is what you’re telling yourself.
‘It could be telling yourself horrible things about yourself, like, you deserve that all of this stuff.
‘I have a very good control over my thoughts because of my training as being a life coach, so that’s what made my breakup so much easier was I never once blamed myself.
‘I took accountability for my side in terms of our relationship. But as I’ve said multiple times, we didn’t have an unhappy relationship.
‘This misconception that, particularly men cheat, means that they’re unhappy and it’s not true.
‘It can be true, but there are multiple reasons why people cheat.’
‘And then I think another narrative that people use to hurt themselves is like, Well, if only I could done this different,’ she added.
‘Or what if I had gone and checked on his phone like a month before, all of this stuff? And actually, you have enough to do in the reality.
You don’t need to be making up made up scenarios to hurt your feelings more. And I think that’s where a lot of my training really helps me in the breakup.’
Her final piece of advice was they she believes you must go ‘no contact with your ex’.
She told : ‘If someone has cheated on you, you cannot stay friends with them.
‘I also don’t believe you can go from being in a relationship to being friends anyway, even if they haven’t cheated.
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‘And you need a period where you actually detach from each other, especially if you’ve been in a long term relationship.
‘And if you are not able to get that space, you are never going to be able to fully heal if that person is still in your life.’
While Michelle’s top three tips for healing through the heartache of losing someone who doesn’t love you may appear straightforward, relationships are far more complicated.
Which is why she has launched a new series of her own podcast, In All Honesty With Michelle Elmen, which is a top five education podcast across Spotify and Apple Music.
She discusses these issues with some celebrity guests and unpicks how to cope with a breakup and many other issues.
Michelle’s first episode was released this week, and it saw her reflect on what began as the best day of her romantic life—a marriage proposal, hard-launching her new fiancé to her social media followers, and the shocking end of her engagement after discovering infidelity—all within the span of 24 hours.
Listeners can expect to hear the episode on heartbreak during her third release.
After ‘utilising her whole life coaching toolbox’ to grow through her own heartbreak, she has now lifted the lid on the best ways to cope after breaking up with a partner
She will open up about every single minute of the three weeks between her split and her announcement.
‘I basically throw my entire life coaching toolbox at my breakup, and I threw everything at it’, she said, teasing the episode.
Michelle has respected the privacy of her former partner throughout their relationship, saying it would break her heart for him to be trolled online after she has experienced fat shaming and name calling on her own profile.
She said her reason for publicly sharing her story is to support other women who have gone through the same experience and hopes her honesty will show them they don’t have to be ashamed.