A single mum of four has revealed she’s glad she ‘trusted her gut’ despite losing her financial security and home following the breakdown of her marriage.
Bronte Towns, 29, lives in Queensland and is rebuilding her life after her 15-year relationship came to an end and she was forced to start again.
‘It was really hard because that was the only relationship I’d ever known,’ the mum and content creator said.
‘It had been a very long journey of trying really hard and communicating that I didn’t feel things were working and unfortunately, they didn’t get better.
‘It’s a really hard moral decision when there’s a lot of pressure to stay together for the kids, but I needed to make a change not only for my own sake, but for my kids.’
Ms Towns, who describes herself online as an ‘honest mum’, admitted she was ‘scared’ after the break-up.
The mum-of-four struggled to process the end of her marriage and working out a way to afford a new place to live on her own after moving out of the family home.
It took Ms Towns more than four months to find a suitable rental that was close to her ex-husband and within 15 minutes of her children’s schooling.
She explained it was tough because she needed to find a home that was suitable for her four children aged eight, four, and two-year-old twins.
When she first started looking she’d hoped she could find something for about $500 per week, but struggled in the competitive market and eventually found a rental for $770 per week.
‘My ex-husband was the breadwinner,’ Ms Towns said.
‘I was only six months into building my social media business as an actual source of income when we separated so that was really scary.
‘Before that, I’d always worked part-time three to four days a week doing administration roles so not really career focused because I was prioritising the kids.’
Before the separation, they sold a property and Ms Towns said she was ‘very fortunate that I did have some savings to be able to help myself get set up’.
‘But even with that, the long-term fear of not having that breadwinner and not having that person to help financially provide is really scary,’ she said.
Ms Towns shares joint custody with her ex on a week on/week off basis.
‘I was not in a very good place pre-separation so I see my weeks off as a way to recharge and reset and get myself into the best headspace possible,’ she said.
‘But if I’m completely honest, it’s a strange experience because I feel like I’m two different people and my goal at the moment is trying to become the same person when I’m with the kids as when I’m not with the kids.
‘Financially, my week off is obviously a lot less than when I’ve got them. I’ve got to buy a bucket load more food and take them to do activities and try and give them a positive experience being with me as well.’
Ms Towns explained one of the reasons she struggled in the aftermath of the split was because she had only known adult life in a relationship with her ex-husband.
‘People say, you should just throw out everything that reminds you of them, but that would be literally everything because of all the joint experiences we shared,’ she said.
‘As much as I’m sad or frustrated by the way things have ended up, because no one ever wants to end up separating especially when you’ve got four kids, I’ve learned so much and I’m so grateful for the journey and the kids.’
Ms Towns, who has over 250,000 followers on Instagram, said she first set up her social media platform ‘because I realised people don’t talk about these things’.
‘I felt like if I can document my process, then maybe it’ll help those women who are in a similar position, and who feel alone, unsure, or stuck, to be able to navigate their way through it too.
‘It’s helped me process my own journey too because it makes me self-reflect more than I probably would if I wasn’t sitting down regularly and creating these videos.’
Ms Towns revealed she’s grateful she can help others in a similar position and stressed the importance of ‘trusting your gut’.
‘Women have fantastic intuitions and when you’re going through something like this, a lot of family and friends like to tell you what to do, but you’re the only one that’s lived through your experiences,’ she said.