Many newlyweds are aware of just how much it costs to buy a home.
Stubbornly high mortgage rates, along with soaring home prices and a rocky economy have been preventing thousands of people from purchasing their first home.
Add a costly wedding to the mix and you could be starting a life together in debt. No one wants that.
Couples are now asking wedding guests to hold the appliances and kitchenware and contribute to the down payment on a house instead.
It’s no longer taboo to ask for cold hard cash — and couples are turning to their registries to ask for help.
Casey and David Gaddy, from Pennsylvania, married last year in Mexico.
They politely suggested to guests that if they were going to be giving a gift, would they think instead about contributing to a fund that would go towards helping them buy their first home.
The couple was shooting for a $20,000 boost to their savings for a down payment and help with closing costs.
Casey and David Gaddy, who married last year, asked guests for money toward their first home
‘We got married in Mexico, and it was it was beautiful. The reason that we made that decision was because it would be less expensive than doing a big local wedding,’ Casey Gaddy told the Daily Mail.
With wedding planning and house hunting happening simultaneously in October 2024, Gaddy says they decided to combine the two financially.
‘We originally felt kind of uncomfortable but decided the way we approached it was “we’re buying a house and we’re getting married so any contribution we would be thankful for,”‘ he said.
‘That was the most stressful time of my life, but the guests contributing helped make it easier.
‘From parents and from friends and relatives we landed between $25,000 and $26,000, so that gave us enough to buy our house.’
In the end people were relieved to not have to buy something impersonal, he said, and many even told the couple how happy they felt to help them start their married life together.
‘It was nice to have them involved in the big transition in our lives and buying the house and it was cool to have so much support,’ Gaddy said.
The couple planted roots in Philadelphia, where they bought a three-bedroom, three-bath home, they’re ‘super happy’ with.
The Smeg toaster used to be a popular wedding gift
Casey and David Gaddy are so happy in their new home and often have family over to stay
Gaddy added: ‘It’s beautiful, we have extra room for my parents to come or the in-laws to come stay whenever they want, or my grandmother.
‘And we have two cats and now we just added a beagle to the family and have extra room.’
Gaddy also said that as a realtor, he’s seen other young couples hopping on the trend.
Some registries now offer options for guests to gift a couple cash under headings like ‘Home Down Payment.’
According to wedding website Zola, the percentage of couples adding at least one cash fund to their registry is now 87 percent.
After purchasing a home, renovations and paying down debts were popular additions to registries.
These choices are a reflection of how modern couples are thoughtfully planning for their economic future.
The average wedding now costs a whopping $36,000, Zola reports, and the average home down payment is $55,000 reports real estate firm ATTOM.
Casey and David Gaddy, from Pennsylvania, got married last year in Mexico
The exterior of the Gaddy’s Philadelphia home they bought with help from family and friends
For first time home buyers, 60 percent are using at least two sources to come up with their down payment — savings and gifts from family or friends.
‘Society has really moved in that direction and generally people are very comfortable giving cash, especially when they know what it’s going toward,’ said Emily Forrest, a spokesperson for Zola.
Financial experts say the request is a really good move.
‘The value of the typical home in the U.S. right now is about $350,000. That means a couple would need to come up with $70,000 if they plan on putting 20 percent down,’ says Amanda Pendleton, Zillow’s home trends expert.
Pendleton says that a new analysis from Zillow Home Loans and The Knot finds the share of couples including ‘home funds’ as part of their wedding registry has increased 55 percent since 2018.
‘Nearly 20 percent of all couples registered on The Knot are asking their guests to help them with the down payment on their first home,’ she said.
‘Affordability remains the number one challenge for aspiring first-time home buyers, and saving up for a down payment is one of the biggest hurdles.
‘It now takes nearly 12 years for a typical first-time buyer to save up for a down payment, compared to nine years prior to the pandemic.’
Amanda Pendleton, Zillow’s home trends expert talks home down payments
Crowdsourcing funds in a wedding registry for a home can help newly married couples get a head start on homeownership
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Pendleton added: ‘It’s no wonder 38 percent of all mortgage buyers use either gifts or loans from family and friends to help fund their down payment.
By crowdsourcing those funds in a wedding registry, newly married couples can get an even bigger head start.’
Besides home ownership, opening joint bank accounts, figuring out how bills will be paid and tackling debt together are all things that need to be discussed — before the wedding.
Because even if guests do generously chip in, the costs don’t stop there.
A 2024 Bankrate study found the true cost of owning a single-family home — excluding the mortgage – is $18,118 per year, thanks to property taxes, insurance, repairs and utility bills.
Pendleton says asking for cash on your registry for all of the above is smart. But she advises there’s a polite way to ask.
‘Couples shouldn’t feel ashamed to request cash contributions for a down payment,’ she said.
‘Most close friends and family members want their wedding gift to be a meaningful contribution to the couple’s future – and nothing is more meaningful than helping them with their first home.
‘Using a registry platform with a “home fund” option helps normalize the ask. And it’s important to make it personal. Tell your guests what the dream of homeownership represents to you as a couple, and how this gift will help you achieve that dream.’
She predicts even more couples will ask for down payment contributions in the future, saying people are getting married later in life and already have their blenders and silverware.
‘What they truly need is a leg up in today’s housing market,’ she said.
‘Down payment funds are ultimately the gift of long-term financial security and wealth building, and what couple wouldn’t want that?’