Dear Vanessa,
I’m 54 and recently divorced after 26 years of marriage. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced not just emotionally, but financially, too.
My ex kept the family home as part of the settlement, and I got half the value plus a split of our retirement savings. But once the legal fees were paid and I set myself up in a small rental unit, it’s not enough to buy another place outright.
I’ve always worked, but now I’m paying child support. My kids are teenagers – they mostly stay with their mum at the family home, which makes sense, but it does mean I don’t see them as much as I’d like.
They still come to me when they need money for things. I know they’d probably visit more if I wasn’t stuck in a small rental unit that doesn’t really feel like home for them, and that’s part of why I’m thinking about buying a house again.
I’m wondering if I should try to buy another property and take on a mortgage, or if that’s unrealistic at my age. I’m worried I’ll have to keep working forever just to stay afloat.
Is it too late for me to rebuild? Can I still retire with some security?
Mark.
Dear Mark,
Firstly, thank you for being so open. You might be surprised to know just how common your situation is. Divorce rates for people over 50 have been rising for years – many people are finding themselves having to completely rethink their finances and plans for retirement later in life.
Here’s what I want you to know straight away: it’s not too late. This next decade can be powerful if you take it step by step and get support where you need it.
A few things to focus on right now:
● Be clear on the money in and out. Child support and helping teenagers with extra costs can drain cash flow fast if you’re not tracking it closely. Know exactly where every dollar is going.
● Protect your retirement savings. Even small extra contributions in your early 50s can really add up, especially if you’re planning to work for another decade or more.
● Think carefully about buying again. I understand wanting more space so your kids feel comfortable visiting, but make sure a mortgage doesn’t stretch you too thin. Sometimes renting a slightly bigger place or exploring other living options can give you more freedom without locking you into extra debt.
● Get support. Trying to figure this out alone is tough. A good adviser will help you map out where you stand, what’s possible, and where you can make small changes that add up over time.
I spoke about this with Andrea Elmargi from Innovative Wealth Management Group, who works with people exactly like you. He put it simply:
‘At this age, it’s about balancing your day-to-day reality with your future security. We look at what’s coming in, what’s going out – including child support – and build a plan that makes room for living now while still putting something away for later. You don’t have to choose between helping your kids and protecting your own future – but you do need a clear plan to do both.’
To hear more from Andrea and watch our full conversation, you can check out the video above.
If you’d like personal help finding an adviser like Andrea, you can also use my free referral service.
Mark, you’ve done the hard yards already. Now it’s about putting yourself first and building a future that works for you. You’ve got more time and options than you might think.
Choose you first,
Vanessa.