From never double texting to not calling without warning, many Britons have their own rules when it comes to using the phones.
But now etiquette experts Debrett’s have revealed the proper ways to conduct telecommunications.
The 250-year-old institution has ruled there to be a generational divide on polite ways to conduct calls – arguing that older people thinking calling without waning is fine, while younger people think it’s gauche.
The authority this week published the ‘ten commandments of mobile etiquette’, which also warns people off from having loud phone calls in public.
‘It is increasingly the norm to text before you call and ask the recipient if they’re free to answer your call imminently or arrange a time to speak,’ the first rule reads.
Etiquette experts Debrett’s have revealed the proper ways to conduct telecommunications. The 250-year-old institution has ruled there to be a generational divide on polite ways to conduct calls – arguing that older people thinking calling without waning is fine, while younger people think it’s gauche (stock image)
‘This preamble might seem cumbersome to traditional phone addicts who love nothing more than spontaneously picking up the phone, but it is considered a much less stressful way of initiating contact, since it minimises intrusion and enables people to manage their own time’.
Secondly, the guide suggests to never expect an unannounced social call to be answered, unless ‘you are calling someone from an older generation who still possesses vestiges of the old obedience to the phone’s clarion call.’.
‘Many people make calls (inevitably unanswered) as a simple and convenient way of ensuring that there is a “missed call” notification on the recipient’s screen.
‘This might elicit a response, but a text is a politer and more informative option.
‘Business calls are a different matter and are likely to be answered with much more willingness and alacrity,’ they say.
If you do call and don’t get an answer, don’t call again, Debrett’s say.
Leaving a string of missed calls is likely to alienate the recipient, unless there is a real emergency.
If you do call without getting an answer then send a brief text to explain the situation, don’t leave a voice mail.
When on the phone, be sure to concentrate on the call, and never make phone calls on crowded public transport, when walking down a noisy street or while doing housework (stock image)
‘In general, the insistence these days is on pithy, economical communications and rambling voice messages, which are often only semi-audible and frequently incoherent, can cause a great deal of frustration,’ they wrote.
‘Bear in mind that some people may find your call alarming. Because calls are becoming less common, people are more likely to react to them with panic or dread. If, for example, you see a call flashing up on your phone from your child’s school you instantly leap to the conclusion that there has been an accident,’.
For this reason, Debrett’s says, people might not be happy to take a call, but younger people should be tolerant of older people’s phone’s habits.
‘They may well leave a voicemail, simply because they find texting (which involves reading glasses and deft fingers) hard work.
‘Think for just a moment about how much technology has changed in their lifetimes and cut them some slack,’ Debrett’s says.
When on the phone, be sure to concentrate on the call, and never make phone calls on crowded public transport, when walking down a noisy street or while doing housework.
‘This can be very alienating for the recipient, who feels marginalised and deprioritised. If you’re going to talk to somebody, find a non-distracting environment and concentrate on the call,’ Debrett’s say.
If you are making a call in public, make sure you use headphones or ear buds.
‘Nobody should be forced to listen to your phone conversation; it will be annoyingly distracting and might be intrusive or embarrassing,’ they say.
Finally, the institute says to accept that there are some instances where the ‘human voice must take priority’.
‘It is fine to send an effusive thank-you note by text, but a message of condolence will be much more appreciated if you pick up the phone and allow your voice to transmit sympathy,’ Debrett’s say
Ahead of the King’s coronation earlier this year, the famed etiquette guide bool revised its guidance putting particular emphasis on tech etiquette.
The handbook, created in 1769, now has pages on the rules for texting, emojis and bizarrely how to announce your engagement on Twitter .
The reason for the update is to show how much society has changed and modernised since the late Queen’s Coronation in 1953.
It acknowledges that people now prefer to communicate over phones or computers rather than via handwritten cards, and so offers advice on how to use your phone while in the company of others.
Amongst advice for the technological age, for example the correct form for writing email, texts and WhatsApp messages, it also covers matters such as same-sex marriage, wives who want to keep their own name and points to how women can be bishops.
Debrett’s guidebook was created in 1769 – it has now been updated to reflect the technological age ahead of the Coronation next month
The book advises people to turn off their phones while in threatres, galleries and cinemas and said loud music or videos should never be played
Advice on texting includes not ‘relying’ on emojis to convey information, avoiding capital letters in emails to avoid looking ‘over-insistent’ and encouraging people to re-read messages before sending.
Liz Wyse, editor of the handbook, told The Times: ‘In the past decade people have become less considerate with their use of tech.
‘People are behaving worse, accelerated by the pandemic and lockdown, when they became used to being isolated and selfish and forgot how to interact.
‘To have good manners, you need to be hyper-aware of people around you and avoid existing in your own world.’
The guide, which is 480 pages long, still emphasises that good manners are still valued.
The book advises people to turn off their phones while in theatres, galleries and cinemas.
It also suggests that when in shops, you should look directly at the cashier, rather than staring at a screen.
One of its biggest takeaways was not to play music out loud or without headphones.
The guide said: ‘It is the worst sort of noise pollution to inflict listening choices on other people.
Other pearls of advice from the book included telling people not to manspread on public transport, making your parents aware of your engagement before announcing it on Twitter and warnings not to be glued to your device.