The mother of a schoolgirl who was bullied to death broke down as she spoke at her daughter’s funeral, but she made no mention of the years of torment the 12-year old suffered at the hands of her peers.
Charlotte O’Brien, a Year 7 student at Santa Sabina College in Strathfield, was farewelled by friends and family at Mary Immaculate Catholic Church in Bossley Park, Sydney’s west, on Friday.
She took her own life in her bedroom on September 9 because the torment inflicted upon her by her classmates became unbearable.
Emotions spilled over as Mat and Kelly, Charlotte’s mum and step-father, addressed hundreds of mourners at the start of the service – talking about what a thoughtful, caring, and kind person she was.
Kelly moved everyone to tears as she said: ‘I will grieve the life you never had … I can’t wait to go to sleep so I can see you in my dreams.’
While the parents have been vocal about the impact of bullying since Charlotte’s death, they chose not to focus on it during the service on Friday.
Instead, they thanked their daughter for the joy she brought to their lives.
After the service, Charlotte’s coffin was taken to Rookwood Cemetery where her biological father had a private funeral with his partner and family.
The priest was the only person during the service to talk about the trigger her family have blamed for Charlotte’s death.
‘One in three children are bullied in communities all over the world,’ he said.
‘There is a responsibility in the world. starting at home and in our communities. Where we do we go from here? How are we going to move forward from here?
‘We all experience good and bad.’
He urged mourners to be mindful of their actions.
During her speech, Kelly said: ‘I will miss everything about you, baby. I will miss our hugs, your kisses, your love, your beautiful smile, and how every day you would ask me how my day was.
‘I will always grieve the life you never had. I will miss you every day that ends in Y. I will never be OK without you, not even for a day.’
At times, she had had to force her words out through her grief.
Charlotte’s stepfather said: ‘I love you. Thank you for being you.
‘Thank you for being so thoughtful, so kind, thank you for being so brave.
‘Thank you for letting me take your mum out on our first date – I was under strict instructions that I needed Charlotte’s approval and I received it.
‘Thank you for giving me the greatest honour to be your dad.’
When the service concluded, Kelly left the church with her daughter’s coffin, clutching a stuffed penguin toy.
A hearse then took Charlotte’s coffin from the church to another service held by her biological father’s family.
As the coffin arrived, ‘Behind Blue Eyes’ by Limp Bizkit could be heard through loudspeakers.
Earlier, Charlotte’s mum shared the final message she sent to the school after her daughter’s death.
‘My beautiful girl took her own life last night because of the relentless friendship issues she faced,’ she wrote.
‘She didn’t deserve to go to and from school crying almost every day. She didn’t deserve girls to bark in her face or scream out her name and run away, to purposely hit her with their bag and say “whoops”.
‘She didn’t deserve the pain she was in. She deserved love and kindness. She deserved to be treated with dignity and respect.’
Her parents found her suicide notes in her bedroom – written in small pink handwriting, she urged them to share her story to raise awareness about the impact of bullying.
She asked them to ‘tell the school’ about the torment she went through, saying her life had become ‘too hard’.
Another note referred to her infant brother, Will. She wrote: ‘Please, Mama, live for Will because I can’t anymore.’
If this has raised any issues for you, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636