It sounds like some bulls**t you’d see in a Kung Fu movie, but I promise you it’s true.
I can tell just by looking into someone’s eyes whether they’re going to be a problem or not.
Romance novels would have you believe the eyes are the window to the soul – I’m not exactly sure about that, but I can tell you they are a window into whether some heavily tattooed postcode gangster is going to punch you in the jaw or not.
It’s not some pseudo-philosophical tough guy trite. It’s basic psychology.
Direct eye contact, particularly in the face of hostility, is a dominant trait.
Avoiding eye contact, even if for a split second, is submissive.
That’s why boxing and MMA bouts have a stare down after the weigh-ins.
So let me give you an example from when I used to risk life and limb running the doors at one of ‘s most dangerous nightclubs (number 2 on the NSW Liquor and Gaming’s violent venues list, to be exact).
If you tell someone something that they aren’t going to like, such as, ‘Sorry mate, I can’t let you in because we are at capacity,’ and they avert their eyes for a moment, I know instantly that I can resolve the situation without violence.
Even if they then become aggressive and start shouting at me.
On the contrary, if the person doesn’t break their gaze and looks directly back at me, there is a reasonable chance I’m going to have to strangle him.
Now, it’s important to note a couple of things.
Just because someone looks away doesn’t mean they aren’t dangerous – or a skilled martial artist who could easily kick my ass.
Fully patched bikies and career criminals were regulars at the venue where I used to work and on occasions when I had to pull them into line, the baddest and most notorious goons would often glance away.
It wasn’t because they were submissive or scared of me. It’s because their intention wasn’t to beat up some lowly bouncer in front of cameras and witnesses.
They might stab me in the car park after work or do a drive-by on my house – but in the moment, I knew they weren’t up for it.
Likewise, just because someone stares back, doesn’t mean they’re a good streetfighter.
An attractive 5’3” woman in high heels, who’s not used to people telling her ‘no’, is unlikely to break eye contact in my experience. And she’s usually primed for conflict.
While she’s unlikely to become physically aggressive, she’ll make up for that by screaming abhorrent, emasculating insults at you.
The only other caveat I would add is that when someone is off their head on drugs, all bets are off when. You just can’t predict what they’re going to do.
It may seem unfair, but there is a very good reason why knuckle-dragging thugs, like my former self, guard the city’s trendiest venues so strictly.
It stems from a common expression in the murky world of security and it goes: ‘Stop it at the door.’
Basically it means, if a person is going to be trouble, it’s far better for the conflict to take place outside the venue rather than on the dance floor where other patrons can get caught in the crossfire.
There’s nothing more cumbersome than when someone refuses to leave a jam-packed venue and becomes aggressive.
A typical encounter would unfold like this.
Some deadbeat thug would punch another patron, sexually assault our bar staff or literally urinate in the corner of the venue (I have seen this).
‘Sir, I’m afraid you’re going to have to leave,’ I would say.
They would reply: ‘What the f**k are you gonna do about it, f*****?’
To be fair, it’s a very good question: what am I going to do about it? There are few options.
You can stand there and take part in a never-ending argument hoping they will change their mind – which never works and will inevitably lead to physical conflict.
Or you can try to grab hold of the gentleman in question and wrestle him out the door in front of hundreds of club-goers.
Given there are too many obstacles between you and the door, this is not a great plan.
There’s too much opportunity for him to break free and throw punches and this can lead to an all-in brawl in the middle of the dance floor, if or when his friends jump in.
It’s always best to avoid punching someone, of course for legal reasons, but mainly because it’s too easy to break your hands on their skull.
I found the best option when some belligerent postcode gangster challenged me inside a venue, was to simply strangle them unconscious where they stood and carry their motionless body outside with the help of a Samoan colleague.
I would look them in the eyes, tell them to leave, and if they looked away I knew there was an option for the matter to be resolved without violence, and then I would gradually walk them out.
But If they starred back I would give them fair warning. And If that was ignored, I would cut off the blood flow to their brain by compressing their carotid arteries – either with my arms or their own collar.
It takes about five seconds for someone to pass out. It’s quick and painless – for me anyway.
If at any stage during this process you considered calling the police, you would never make it as a bouncer.
Cops don’t have the time or manpower to get involved. Plus, it looks bad for the venue if officers show up every night and it would immeasurable damage your tough-guy reputation if you had to call for help.
Reputation is everything for bouncers because if you show any kind of weakness people will take advantage – or even try to stand over you.
Some tipsy 21-year-old girl might stand up and dance on a table for a laugh. Harmless fun right, what’s the big deal?
Well, if something like that goes unchecked, in about 10 minutes everyone will be dancing on tables and someone will break their neck – for which you and the venue are liable.
So it’s critical that you set the tone.
In cases when patrons threw punches before I could strangle them, one of the best ways I found to discourage others from doing the same was headbutts.
Of course, there are safer and more practical options for self defence, but nothing quite sends the message that you are an unrelenting psychopath than the simple act of headbutting someone in their orbital bone.
I wouldn’t over do it though. Just for rare occasions when there’s an unusually large number of crims, bikies and cut-throats frequenting your establishment.
So, how to use all of this to your advantage on a night when you’ve probably had too much to drink, but still want to hit one more late-night spot.
The first test is usually at the door when the bouncer asks, ‘how much have you had to drink tonight?’
A lot of people fail this one.
Unless you’re absolutely plastered, the bouncer really doesn’t care about how much you’ve actually had to drink. He or she is just gauging your reaction to find out if you might be aggressive, argumentative or unreasonable.
Instead of mouthing an obvious lie, just do this.
Look away for a brief second to show you’re not going to be a problem, then say something like ‘Oh we’ve had a couple of drinks, but nothing serious. How’s your night been?’
Asking a question helps because aggressive people don’t make polite small talk.
And even though 99.9 per cent of doormen have no conscious understanding of micro expressions or psychology – eye contact is evolutionary – so it will work automatically on a subconscious level.
I mean… unless the bouncer is a totally d***.
Levi Parsons now works for Daily Mail as Night Editor