Nicole Kidman has revealed she’s often awoken with thoughts about her own mortality.
The actress, 57, posed for a striking cover shoot for one of British GQ’s Men of the Year 2024 editions in which she reflected on how her approach to life has changed in her 50s.
The mother-of-four was speaking about being in tune with her emotions when she was asked why she feels things more deeply now.
Nicole explained: ‘Mortality. Connection. Life coming and hitting you. And loss of parents and raising children and marriage and all of the things that go into making you a fully sentient human. I’m in all of those places. So life is, whew.
‘It’s definitely a journey. And it hits you as you get older how – it’s a wake up at 3am crying and gasping kind of thing. If you’re in it and not numbing yourself to it. And I’m in it. Fully in it.’
Nicole touched on mortality again as she reflected on how the loss of her parents and raising her own children had changed her outlook on life.
Nicole Kidman, 57, revealed she often wakes up ‘crying and gasping’ thinking about her mortality, marriage and grief as she posed for striking GQ cover shoot
The mother-of-four was speaking about being in tune with her emotions when she was asked why she feels things more deeply now (pictured wearing Balenciaga)
She explained: ‘There’s the mortality aspect of life which, when you start to deal with that, it’s very heavy. When you’re raising children you’re like, “I gotta stay here. I wanna see all of this.” It’s devastating and beautiful and extraordinary.’
Nicole was left devastated in 2014 when her father Antony died of a suspected heart attack aged 75. Her mother Janelle tragically passed away this year in September aged 84 – a week after Nicole recorded this interview with GQ.
She has daughters Sunday Rose, 16, and Faith, 14, with husband Keith Urban, whom she married in 2006.
The Oscar-winning actress shares adopted children Bella, 31, and Connor, 29, with ex-husband Tom Cruise but is believed to have a complicated relationship with the pair, who she has not been seen with in public for 16 years.
Nicole once hinted Bella and Connor are ‘loyal to their father’ and ‘don’t call her mum’ having ‘chosen Scientology’ over her when she split with the Hollywood star.
Reflecting on the days after her father’s death in her GQ chat, Nicole recalled a moment when her daughters, who were four and six at the time, saw her crying.
‘The little one was just so little that she didn’t know whether I was acting or not,’ Nicole shared. ‘She said, “Mummy acting now?” And the older one was like, “No, mummy not acting now.”
‘But the older one was like, “You won’t be sad in the morning?” Because they don’t want a house full of sadness. Who does?’
Nicole was left devastated in 2014 when her father Antony died of a suspected heart attack. Her mother Janelle tragically passed away this year in September (pictured together in 2003)
She has daughters Sunday Rose, 16, and Faith, 14, with husband Keith Urban. (L-R) Keith, Sunday Rose, Faith Margaret, Sybella Hawley, Nicole and her sister Antonia Kidman in April
Last week, Nicole opened up about the death of her mother this year, sharing her sadness that Janelle didn’t get a chance to see her new film, Babygirl.
The actress spoke to Vanity Fair for their Hollywood Issue, about grieving her mother who died suddenly while Nicole was at the film festival to accept an award for her erotic thriller role.
‘She was very excited to see Babygirl, and she was excited to see The Perfect Couple too, but she didn’t get to see either of those,’ the actress told the publication.
Nicole described her mom as her ‘compass,’ adding she loved and supported her career.
‘She was my compass in a way. It’s like losing that, but at the same time going,’ the Oscar award-winning actress told Vanity Fair.
‘So much of what she wanted for my sister and I was to create women in this world who felt like they could express themselves and have opportunities, especially things she didn’t have from her generation.’
The actress added her mother ‘loved’ her career, and was always supportive of her endeavors.
Nicole shared: ‘She would be there through all the ups and downs, all of it. Her essence has been pretty much the driving force through my whole life. I wish she could have seen this part of it.’
The actress announced the news of her mother’s death via Babygirl director Halina Reijn, who read a statement on her behalf during a Venice International Film Festival panel last month.
Last week, Nicole opened up about the death of her mother, sharing her sadness that Janelle didn’t get a chance to see her new film, Babygirl (pictured in the film with Harris Dickinson)
Nicole intended to attend the festival and accept the Volpi Cup award for best actress for her role in the erotic drama.
Her message read: ‘Today I arrived in Venice to find out shortly after, that my beautiful, brave mother Janelle Ann Kidman has just passed.’
Leaving the event early, Nicole explained: ‘I am in shock and I have to go to my family, but this award is for her. She shaped me, she guided me and she made me.’
The Big Little Lies star added: ‘I am beyond grateful that I get to say her name to all of you through Halina, the collision of life and art is heartbreaking, and my heart is broken.’