The heartbroken stepfather of a 12-year-old girl who took her own life after relentless bullying has blasted the school’s ‘disappointing’ response.
Charlotte O’Brien, a Year 7 student at Santa Sabina College at Strathfield in Sydney’s inner-west, took her own life earlier this month after two years of misery where she said classmates were using confidential information to bully her.
Her mother Kelly and stepdad Mat are now trying to pick up the pieces of their life, sharing her story in the hopes no other family is rocked by such tragedy.
It was Charlotte’s dying wish that her story be told, leaving notes in small pink handwriting for her parents to read, urging them to ‘tell the school’ about her suffering and that life was ‘too hard’.
Mat said the response from the broader school community had been ‘overwhelming’, with parents and school peers leaving heartfelt letters, cards and home-cooked meals.
But he added he was yet to hear directly from Santa Sabina following his daughter’s death.
‘Outside of the response from the broader community of the school, I’d have to say I’ve been disappointed to say the least with the response that’s come from the school,’ he told 2GB’s Ben Fordham.
‘One of their comments was around there being inconsistencies with their records and I thought that comment to go out at that time when we were grieving was unnecessary.’
Mat added the school’s statement included a line saying they’d been reached out to by other parents saying how their children felt safe and supported at the college.
‘You know those mothers who’ve given that school support, no doubt they’ll be planning on picking their daughter up from school today and we are not,’ Mat said.
‘It has been heartbreaking. Having said that, I would still welcome an opportunity when the time is right to meet with the school.
‘If I thought it was coming from a genuine place to do better, I would happily meet.’
Santa Sabina College principal Paulina Skerman earlier defended the school’s handling of bullying, saying their anti-bullying policy was available on their website.
‘In the past week, I have been overwhelmed by the number of emails and messages from our families that talk about their children feeling safe and cared for at Santa Sabina College, and objecting to the portrayal of our College as failing to deal with matters that cause distress amongst our students,’ she said in a statement.
‘Our students and our families are highly informed on the policy and the procedures for reporting and resolving matters of concern, and they clearly demonstrate the College’s approach to dealing swiftly and appropriately with any concerns raised.
‘At the very heart of who we are as a Catholic Dominican school are the Gospel values of love, compassion and inclusivity.
‘To say that there is a culture of bullying at the College goes against the very fabric that holds our community together.
‘Every staff member at the school holds the care of your child close to our hearts and this has been reflected in the number of messages I have received from our families.
‘We continue to work with our children to educate them on reporting serious matters and developing strategies to manage the complexities that life invariably presents,’ the statement read.
The college added it was their focus to ‘support Charlotte’s family through their unimaginable grief’, and other students and their families.
‘We are continuing to work with Headspace and other providers to ensure that we follow the most supportive and safest practices for our community at this time.’
In the wake of Charlotte’s death, Mat said he and his wife Kelly are ‘broken’.
‘Kelly and I say to ourselves every morning ”let’s just make it to bedtime”,’ he told the breakfast radio program.
‘To lose our little girl at the age of 12 is something that we won’t ever recover from.’
Mat said his daughter’s final wish was to raise awareness with her story.
‘I’m not after retribution for these girls, I’m looking for the schools to step in, to act when things arise for the first time,’ he said.
‘I know these are tough conversations for us all but we need to have these conversations today.’
Mat described Charlotte as incredibly selfless and someone who would save her own birthday money to buy those she loved gifts instead.
When she learnt her mother was pregnant with her baby brother Will, her father said she dropped to the ground and said it was the best gift she could have asked for.
Mat, who is not Charlotte’s biological father, added the day Charlotte asked to call him ‘dad’ was one of the greatest moments of his life.
‘We will never get to celebrate her 13th birthday and I’ll never get to teach her how to drive,’ he continued.
‘She will never graduate from school, she wanted to go to Macquarie University even though she couldn’t pronounce the word Macquarie.
‘We will never see her graduate, I’ll never get to walk her down the aisle. She wanted seven children, her own big family, and I’ll never meet her grandchildren.
‘Our family is broken.’
A funeral will be held for Charlotte on Friday.
For confidential support call Lifeline 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800