The father of murdered 17-year-old Charlie Cosser has revealed the depths of his despair as his son’s teenage killer – named for the first time today – faced being given a life sentence behind bars.
Martin Cosser says he feels ‘completely helpless’ and contemplated taking his own life, adding: ‘This world is worse off without my beautiful little boy and will never be the same again.’
Yura Varybrus, the son of Ukrainian parents, stabbed Charlie on a crowded dance floor after being asked to leave an end-of-term party in the grounds of a £1.5million country farmhouse last summer.
He was publicly identified for the first time today after applications from reporters were allowed by Judge Christine Henson, while a picture of him aged 14 emerged.
Varybrus, who will be 18 in November, had never met Charlie before the party at Balmohano Farmhouse near Warnham, West Sussex.
The attacker had been drinking heavily throughout the night and claimed he could not remember anything about the killing.
Charlie’s father Mr Cosser today said in an emotional statement: ‘I had to write a eulogy for my teenage son and read it to 700 people at his funeral.
‘How he was killed haunts me and will haunt us forever.
‘I’ve had to watch my lovely family fall apart in front of me and I’m completely helpless.’
He told of last speaking to his son – nicknamed ‘Cheeks’ – on July 22 last year, adding: ‘I’ve been trying hard not to think of his last moments.
‘I have nightmares where it is me getting stabbed.
‘I can’t stop visualising him lying in the long grass where he was found.”
Mr Cosser described how he wears a lock of Charlie’s hair in a locket round his neck, cut for him by a nurse at the Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton – and said his family had been put through the hell of a three-week trial by the killer.
He added: ‘I walk past Charlie’s bedroom every day and still open his door, praying that he might be there.
‘I haven’t spent more than a couple of hours in my lounge since last year because I keep visualising Charlie there and it’s just too painful.
‘Charlie made me so happy, and I was so proud of the young man he’d become and exceptionally proud to be his dad.
‘This world is worse off without my beautiful little boy and will never be the same again.
‘I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be happy, if I smile it’s forced, when I talk, I’m distant and I find it almost impossible to listen anymore.
‘There is not a single breath I take that isn’t Charlie but the loneliness I feel is indescribable because nobody understands.’
Mr Cosser said he contemplated taking his own life following the death of his son.
He also told how his two other children were keeping him going, saying if it were not for them ‘I would end my life, which should tell you how badly I am affected by this’.
He added: ‘Relationships with family and friends have been damaged forever by this evil act and we still don’t know what to do with our little boy’s ashes and they sit on a shelf because he hadn’t been alive long enough to have a very special place, we could lay him to rest.
‘We have visited crematorium after crematorium and graveyard after graveyard but still haven’t found the place that feels right so he’ll probably stay with us.
‘I carry a darkness with me everywhere I go, I used to love football but now get no pleasure from it.
‘I can’t be in a crowd of people after being the life and soul at any gathering and I often sleep in Charlie’s bed.
‘I must force myself to carry on when all I want to do is die.
‘Finally, I have a message for Charlie – my special, talented, charismatic, loyal, cheeky and adorable little boy.
‘There will never be a moment for the rest of my life when I’m not thinking about you and how incredible you were. I’ll carry you in my heart forever and I’m so proud to be your daddy.’
Mr Cosser also told how the family has already raised more than £130,000 for the charity they started in his name.
The killer’s father Ihor Varybrus lives in West Sussex and mother Julia lives with her new partner in Surrey.
The trial jury were never told Varybrus had already pleaded guilty to murder days after Charlie died.
Then 16, he replied ‘Guilty’ in a clear voice when the charge of murder was put to him in July last year.
He exchanged a raised fist salute with his father as he was taken down from the dock at Lewes.
Speaking after the hearing, his father said: ‘It’s not just him, we are all guilty.
‘He is a child, we are all responsible and should have been making sure they were not drinking. I never saw him drinking before.
‘I haven’t been able to see him for five days and he is only 16 – he is a child.
‘We need him to know we love him and we will stay with him all his life.’
Varybrus kept his head down in the dock at Brighton today as the Cosser family walked past him to read their statements from the witness box.
His father Ihor, sitting across the court, listened as the emotional statements were read.
Members of the jury who returned to court for the sentencing hearing wiped tears from their eyes as family and supporters of the Cossers sobbed uncontrollably in the public gallery.
Charlie’s mother Tara spoke of her ‘guilt’ as still being alive when her ‘beautiful, innocent son will never say I do to his wife or I love you to his own children’.
She said: ‘Eleven months ago I was happy – we were genuinely happy. I thought I had all the time in the world.’
She told how her son fought for life in a Brighton hospital surrounded by love, adding: ‘How can I possibly imagine a life without Charlie? He had so much to live for. Now, I’m living a life without Charlie.
‘But it’s not living, it’s just surviving. I feel like I’m just going through the motions of life. I feel so weak, wishing so hard to be the mum I was.
‘I know we are strong and we won’t let this break us, but we are no longer the husband and wife, brother, uncle, family we once were.
‘We have the life sentence. Charlie will be forever 17.’
She also said she felt ‘scared, petrified for the future’, asking the court: ‘Why should he have been denied the chance to make more memories with his friends?
‘We were so proud of the young man he was becoming.
‘He was in my heart from the moment I knew I was pregnant and he will never, ever leave it.
‘I want him here with me. Holding my hand, making me happy, making me proud.’
Mrs Copper told how her son ‘came across pure evil that night’, before adding: ‘He will never be forgotten – he was just too special.’
The judge is due to sentence Varybrus at Brighton Crown Court later today.
She said: ‘This is a case that is a particularly grave crime and has attracted substantial national and local interest.
‘The level of youth crime in this case is likely to be of significant public interest at a private party attended by many young people.
‘Charlie Cosser’s death has shocked a community and the family have set up a charity to fight against knife crime. Disclosure may aid the local community in coming to terms with this incident.”
She added that the potential deterrent nature for others in identifying Varybrus in this case is crucial for the public interest and public protection in homicide cases.
‘The lifting of the restriction promotes public confidence in justice and the interests of the public receiving fair, accurate and unrestricted reporting of such crimes’, the judge added.
Charlie’s brother revealed earlier this month how he told the victim he was going to be an uncle just moments before life support was turned off.
Older sibling Adam described his final moments with his brother and said he broke the news to him that he and fiancée Jade Avery were expecting a child.
Adam had hoped to tell Charlie at a family celebration, planned for a few weeks later, but instead had to make the revelation while his brother lay in a hospital bed.
He told The Times that he and Ms Avery had leant over the stabbing victim and whispered the news into his ear.
Adam, 28, said: ‘We believe Charlie knew but, the fact we don’t necessarily know, that hurts us a lot.’
The couple’s son Albie Charlie Michael Cosser was born earlier this year and is now three and a half months old.
The heartbroken brother, who works as a football development manager, explained how he couldn’t help but be reminded of another time he had visited his sibling in hospital – the day he had been born.
Charlie went on to become a talented footballer who made an appearance for Brentford’s academy and, at the age of seven, once scored eight goals in a ten-minute match – much to his brother’s delight.
The 17-year-old had been planning to head off on his first ‘boys’ holiday to Greek island Zante in the week he died and attended the party in a field in West Sussex on July 23 despite knowing just two people there.
Charlie had recently started work as an apprentice groundsman at Surrey private school Charterhouse and dreamt of being on the ground staff at Premier League football club Chelsea.
His father Martin quit his insurance broker job to set up knife awareness charity Charlie’s Promise.
He previously said: ‘I still open Charlie’s bedroom door to see if he’s there.
‘I still have those moments where you’re driving along in a car and suddenly you just burst into tears – it just hits you, you have those flashback moments.’