An author who has made a career writing about her divorce compared middle class white women in happy marriages to white supremacists.
Lyz Lenz, author of This American Ex-Wife, made the provocative comment in response to a viral article published by The Cut which advocated women marrying older men.
‘When an upper middle class white lady says marriage is working for her…like yeah that’s the point of white supremacy and patriarchy bb. It works for you and no one else’ Lenz, 42, wrote on X on Thursday.
The post was viewed almost four million times and Lenz used the traction to promote her divorce memoir, writing ‘buy my book and read the entire argument that’s so persuasive my inbox is full of women leaving their marriages,’ in a second post.
Lenz, who writes the popular liberal blog ‘Men Yell At Me’, has written extensively about her divorce from her Trump-supporting husband-of-twelve-years David Lenz in publications such as Esquire and The Washington Post.
New York Times best-selling author Lyz Lenz compared happily married white middle class women to white supremacists on X on Thursday
Lenz, who writes the popular liberal blog ‘Men Yell At Me’, has written extensively about her divorce from her Trump-supporting husband-of-twelve-years David Lenz (pictured)
A self-styled ‘proud divorcee’ Lyz argues that divorce is ‘a practical and effective solution for women to take back the power they are owed’ according to her memoir.
However, many pushed back against Lenz’s marriage and white supremacist comparison, including writer and podcast host Jesse Singal, who suggested the remarks were performative and dated.
‘It is very very cultlike and maybe five years ago this was just considered a normal way to talk and was broadly accepted in progressive circles,’ Singal wrote of the comment on X.
‘I do think the pendulum has started swinging back but the deadenders are an extremely weird crew’ he added.
Singal was referring to a reply to Lenz’s original tweet by journalist Rebecah Boynton, who wrote: ‘I agree, Lyz, but it’s so important that we never forget that wealthy white men and all wealthy men in general abuse and murder women, too. Especially when they know they can get away with it.’
Lenz answered: ‘Are you assuming I forgot.’
Writer Mindy Isser also criticized Lenz, commenting ‘there’s a lot to be said about the failures of marriage and the nuclear family and heteronormativity. But it’s also true that some people just manage to be in love and have egalitarian partnerships,’ she wrote on X.
‘Sorry if this is too nuanced or cancellable,’ Isser added.
‘I’m black and so is my wife. Marriage works for us,’ writer Adam B. Coleman said of the post.
Lyz (pictured with ex-husband David and their children) argues that divorce is ‘a practical and effective solution for women to take back the power they are owed’
‘This snobby lady is envious of successful relationships and lives in a rhetorical bubble that can’t comprehend non-white people being married AND being happily married.’
Lenz and her ex-husband David met in high school, and married age twenty-two in 2005.
‘It felt like I’d been doing everything society had told me was right and yet I never felt happy’ she told The Times in a recent interview.
‘I had a good life but it felt like a trap. I was locked into cleaning trash bags up and telling my husband where to find the ketchup in the refrigerator for the rest of my life.’
The couple divorced in 2017. ‘If something is miserable you can just not do it. It’s not failure, it’s success to let go of misery that holds us back’ she explained.
‘If you’re in a situation where you’re negotiating how much misery is too much misery I think you have your answer.’
David is now happily remarried to another woman, with Lenz writing of her joy at being able to have ‘really good sex’ with other partners on their marriage foundering.