With the average first-time mom in San Francisco now pushing 34 years of age, younger mothers in the snooty city say they’re being met with judgment, side-eyes, and a whole lot of silence on the playground.
The west coast enclave has emerged as the U.S. city with the highest average age for first-time mothers, reaching 33.6 years in 2023 — just shy of ‘geriatric pregnancy’ age of 35 and well above the national average of 29.6.
In nearby Marin County the average age is just slightly lower at 33.5, according to recent public health data from the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
This mirrors a broader demographic shift across the Bay Area, where high living costs, demanding careers, and increasing access to fertility treatments have led many women to delay having children.
Casandra Juarez, who was just 22 when she gave birth, was taken aback when another mom at a Berkeley baby yoga class reacted with shock at her relatively young age.
‘Oh my God, what happened?’ she said the woman asked. ‘That was the moment where I was like, “Oh, my God, it is not going to be easy finding friends”,’ Juarez said, adding it was a new way of asking the old question of whether her daughter was an accident. ‘It made me feel really uncomfortable… I never went back.’
Only 17 percent of first-time mothers in San Francisco were in their 20s in 2023, the lowest share of any U.S. county.
Meanwhile, birth rates in the city inched up slightly in 2024, with about 6,870 births compared to 6,790 the previous year—a rise driven largely by foreign-born mothers, while births to U.S.-born women continued to decline.
A mom of two by 25 and now a doula in San Mateo, Arrieanna Martinez (pictured) says the age gap with other parents makes her feel like she’s constantly being compared—and coming up short
With the average first-time mom in San Francisco now pushing 34 years of age, younger mothers in the snooty city say they’re being met with judgment, side-eyes, and a whole lot of silence on the playground
San Francisco has emerged as the U.S. city with the highest average age for first-time mothers
While delayed motherhood can offer advantages—such as financial stability and career growth—it has also contributed to a quiet crisis: younger mothers in the region are feeling isolated and out of place.
Postpartum depression (PPD) affects 10 percent to 20 percent of new mothers nationwide, but among low-income women, that rate can reach as high as 48 percent.
The gap in age and lifestyle between younger and older moms can heighten feelings of exclusion and make support harder to find.
To better understand this experience, The San Francisco Standard interviewed several young women raising children in the region.
Their stories reveal a common thread: loneliness, judgment, and the quiet difficulties of parenting in a place where they often feel like outliers.
Arrieanna Martinez, now 32, also became a mom at 22. After two children and a divorce, she moved to San Mateo to pursue a bachelor’s degree and work as a doula.
She told the Standard she often feels the contrast between her own journey and that of her peers.
‘You had your 20s to party, you got married … you built your career, and now you’re just ready to be this amazing parent. When you have that age gap, it can look like you’re not the best mom you can be.’
Postpartum depression (PPD) affects 10 percent to 20 percent of new mothers nationwide, but among low-income women, that rate can reach as high as 48 percent (Pictured: Arrieanna Martinez)
After moving to the Bay Area, 29-year-old Aubriahna Chaves felt like an outsider at her daughter’s school and says she’s struggled to find a single mom friend her age
Shauna Gamble, 30, a single mother in Marin County, told the Standard she often feels judged in parenting groups—especially when she admits to allowing screen time.
‘They think they’re better parents than me,’ she told the Standard. ‘I feel the judgment of, I kind of winged this. They have been preparing for this.’
Aubriahna Chaves, 29, relocated from Seattle to San Francisco and has yet to make a single friend her age.
She remembered walking into her daughter’s elementary school for a back-to-school event and instantly feeling out of place.
‘Walking into the auditorium was like, ‘OK, I don’t see anybody my age, but that’s OK,’ she told the Standard. ‘I haven’t made one friend to go and hang out with anytime.’
And Blanca Aguilar, 28, drops off her 7-year-old son at school in San Ramon and watches from the sidelines as older parents mingle.
‘I don’t have nobody to chitchat with,’ she told the Standard. ‘I feel like I will be the one who stands out because I am the youngest one.’