Jess Finnegan was only five when she first witnessed the violence and psychological torture her mother was being subjected to by her now estranged father, Gary.
What followed was a sickening and twisted campaign of abuse and control over the entire family that for years left them all too fearful to reach out for help.
Jess and her younger brother Ad were forced to play ‘games’, as he would call it, which would include him running a knife through their fingers and progressively getting ‘quicker and quicker’ so as to watch them squirm in terror.
He would have holes drilled into every wall in the house, and panels removed from the floors, to ensure he could watch them at all times, and he would even force the children to watch pornography.
Their mum would be beaten up repeatedly, but never on the face or visible body parts to make sure no outsiders would notice.
Speaking to about the horrific domestic abuse she suffered, she said: ‘I grew up in north Wales in quite a small village and it was me, my brother Ad, who is four years younger than me, and then my mum, in the house with Gary who was our abuser.
‘There was always a rocky relationship between him and my mum, but my mum did amazingly well to sort of hide that, and to hide a lot of the attacks and the abuse that she went through.’
The shocking story comes as NSPCC reveal worrying figures which show there has been an 19 per cent increase in calls regarding concerns for children experiencing domestic abuse.
The NSPCC Helpline fielded almost 4,000 contacts regarding such concerns in the first six months of 2024 to 2025.
Jess, who now works for NSPCC, was around four or five when she first started noticing the horrific abuse her mother was being subjected to, and the terrifying scenes she witnessed has affected her long into her adulthood.
She said: ‘I think I was around five or six when I sort of first started noticing it, and he would grab her, he’d make comments, he’d hit her, but he was really, really clever with it.
‘He knew how to get away with so much.
‘So if he would hit you, it would never be on the face, it would be somewhere he could make sure it was hidden under clothing so nobody would ever see the bruising or the marks.
‘There was a lot of mind games as well. He would sort of prey on us, and if you show any type of fear, he knew he had you.
‘He used to play this “game”, as he would say, where he’d make you put your hand on the table, and he’d run a knife between your fingers, progressively getting faster, to make you squirm.
‘And the more you scream, the more enjoyment he got out of it. So me and my brother had to sort of learn to just put on a poker face, put a wall up, and just pretend that we were sort of enjoying it, and then he didn’t get any anything from it.’
She continued: ‘And he would just watch us.
‘The house that we lived in, it was a sort of very old farmhouse type house, and for anybody else, it just looked like he was a bit of a handyman.
‘He would knock down a wall, he would do this here, there and everywhere, but never get around to finishing it.
‘But then, when you look closer, and it wasn’t until probably a lot later on, I think it hit home.
‘He’d actually drilled holes in the walls.
‘He drilled holes in the shower.
‘He took away the floor panelling around the toilet, so that when you went and actually sat on the toilet, you’d look straight through into the kitchen.
‘We had a very big attic, all boarded out and everything, and he had holes in the ceiling so he could see us in our bedrooms.
‘He would just be able to watch us, no matter where we were, and he would sort of set it up that he was going to work, or he was going out, he was going somewhere, and actually he was in one of these spaces just watching us.
‘It was all just for the fact that he could control us.’
As young children, Gary, who has since been jailed for an attack on his ex-girlfriend, would force Jess and Ad to watch porn.
He said: ‘We were forced to watch pornography. We were forced to watch a lot of horror movies.
‘Again, it was to make us squirm. It was to put us in that uncomfortable position that we couldn’t get out of.’
It was only after a particularly severe violent attack one night that Jess’ mum decided she could no longer tolerate the abuse, and she took her children and went to a refuge – though Jess’ brother was forced to continue living with Gary for some time.
Jess was a teenager by this point, and despite leaving, her and her family were still tortured by the abuser. It was only when Jess’ mother found a new partner, who Jess now calls her dad, that Gary began to leave them alone.
Years later, the family were approached by police to give evidence.
Gary was on trial for the attempted murder of his ex-girlfriend – the partner he had been living with after Jess’ mother had left him.
Following the trial, he was sentenced to 20 years and served 10.
Though he was brought to justice, Jess told of how the many times her family had reached out to the police during their own ordeal, little action had been taken.
Jess told of how during her primary years witnessing abuse, she did not feel supported by the police or her school at the time, and said it felt like children were not considered as domestic abuse victims, but rather seen as ‘collateral damage’.
She now works with NSPCC to campaign against child domestic abuse.
Recent figures from NSPCC found that the charity’s helpline fielded almost 3,879 contacts about concerns for children experiencing domestic abuse in the first six months of 2024 to 2025; a 19 per cent rise on the previous year.
Coercive or controlling behaviour, emotional domestic abuse and post-separation domestic abuse were concerns repeatedly raised in contacts the adult helpline received about domestic abuse.
A deeper dive into the domestic abuse data reveals mentions of coercive or controlling behaviour (1,279 contacts) and emotional domestic abuse (1,451) increased by a half, while post-separation domestic abuse more than doubled.
Also opening up about his experiences with child domestic abuse, Ian Erridge spoke to : ‘My mother and father had always had a heated relationship.
‘My father had a heart attack when I was about five years old and that changed his personality even more. He became even more impatient, and I was aware that he was arguing with my mother a lot.
‘We lived in a small maisonette so it was a very confined space to grow up in.
‘My father saw himself as the man of the house, he was the wage winner and he didn’t want my mother going to work. And he was very strict so he would have a go at her if the dinner wasn’t cooked properly or wasn’t what he wanted or what he’d asked for.’
There is one particular event that remains etched in Ian’s memory, from which he said began a ‘childhood of physical abuse’.
‘And just before my 7th birthday, it was actually my mother’s birthday, I remember it because it was July 1, my mother had baked a cake.
‘He came home in a bad mood and went to my mother, and it was the first time I’d kind of seen it being in the same room. So I just, even though I was very young, I just tried to go get between them, just an act of instinct I suppose.
‘And my dad basically picked up a kitchen knife and pinned me against the door with his other arm and said “I’m going to kill you if you carry on”.
‘That kickstarted a childhood for me of physical abuse, which gradually changed to mental abuse as I got older and became more physically capable of standing up to him.
‘I didn’t have a clue who to speak to or where to go at that moment in time.
In a situation where your father makes that sort of threat towards you, and also making similar threats to his partner, it’s difficult to do it.
‘I just kept quiet. I was too scared to do it.’
He also now campaigns to raise awareness of child domestic abuse and the lasting impacts it can have.
The NSPCC’s Domestic Abuse, Recovering Together (DART) programme is available to support children to recover from the adverse effects of domestic abuse.
The service brings together mothers and children in group sessions to discuss their experiences, strengthen their relationships, and explore strategies for coping with and recovering from the trauma of domestic abuse.