The mother of a 12-year-old Sydney school girl who took her own life following a severe case of bullying has broken down at her daughter’s funeral, saying: ‘I will grieve the life you never had.’
Charlotte Frances O’Brien, a Year 7 student at Santa Sabina College in Strathfield, made the decision to end her own life on September 9 after relentless harassment at the hands of her classmates.
Students had a pupil-free day on Friday so they could attend the funeral at her primary school, Mary Immaculate Catholic Church in Bossley Park.
Hundreds of loved ones started gathering at the church from about 10am, many with pink ribbons in their hair because it was her favourite colour.
As the service began, her parents Mat and Kelly tried to hold back their tears as they carried their daughter’s casket – decorated with lavender and butterflies – through the church.
But as Kelly said her final goodbye to her daughter, she was overcome with emotion and broke down, barely able to speak as she fought back her grief.
There wasn’t a dry eye in the church as she spoke.
‘The first moment I held her in my arms will always be the best day of my life,’ she said through tears.
‘I knew within a moment of being her mother that I had met my soulmate – my best friend, she was wise beyond her years.’
At the end of the service, as she stood to follow the casket out of the church, she was overwhelmed by the heartbreak and cried in pain, with her head in her hands.
During her speech, Kelly said her daughter loved swimming and would joke that she was going to ‘be like Moana and never leave the ocean’.
‘I will miss everything about you, baby. I will miss our hugs, your kisses, your love, your beautiful smile, and how every day you would ask me how my day was.
‘I will always grieve the life you never had. I will miss you every day that ends in Y. I will never be OK without you, not even for a day.
‘Now, my Angel, I can’t wait to go to sleep so I can see you in our dreams.’
At times, she had had to force her words out.
Charlotte’s stepfather Mat said: ‘I love you. Thank you for being you.
‘Thank you for being so thoughtful, so kind, thank you for being so brave.
‘Thank you for letting me take your mum out on our first date – I was under strict instructions that I needed Charlotte’s approval and I received it.
‘Thank you for giving me the greatest honour to be your dad’.
He then read the last Father’s Day card where she describes him as ‘more than a captain’.
Charlotte had written: ‘Dear Dad, I will always cherish you as I sow my seeds and become the captain you taught me to be.
‘You are also like the sea. You can be calm and powerful. Strong when you have to be.’
A slideshow of photos and videos played before the church towards the end of the service, along with the song, You Are Not Alone.
Family albums showed Charlotte smiling, laughing and dancing with friends, looking embarrassed as loved ones sung her Happy Birthday, and cuddling her newborn brother.
When the service concluded, Kelly left the church with her daughter’s coffin, clutching a stuffed penguin toy.
Once outside, everyone gathered around, hugged Kelly and threw petals onto the hearse before it left for the cemetery.
During the service, Charlotte’s parents did not mention the years of harassment their daughter struggled through at school.
However, the priest pointed out that one in three children are bullied and asked mourners to be mindful.
‘One in three children are bullied in communities all over the world,’ he said.
‘There is a responsibility in the world. starting at home and in our communities. Where we do we go from here? How are we going to move forward from here? We all experience good and bad.
‘At these times we must grow our heart and minds in god’s work, we must continue to move forward.’
Earlier, Charlotte’s mum shared the final message she sent to the school after her daughter’s death.
‘My beautiful girl took her own life last night because of the relentless friendship issues she faced,’ she wrote.
‘She didn’t deserve to go to and from school crying almost every day. She didn’t deserve girls to bark in her face or scream out her name and run away, to purposely hit her with their bag and say “whoops”.
‘She didn’t deserve the pain she was in. She deserved love and kindness. She deserved to be treated with dignity and respect.’
Her parents found her suicide notes in her bedroom – written in small pink handwriting, she urged them to share her story to raise awareness about the impact of bullying.
She asked them to ‘tell the school’ about the torment she went through, saying her life had become ‘too hard’.
Another note referred to her infant brother, Will. She wrote: ‘Please, Mama, live for Will because I can’t anymore.’
Her father previously told media one of the more troubling aspects of her death was how happy she appeared to be on her final day.
‘We had such a great last day with her,’ he said. ‘I hadn’t seen her that happy coming home from school in a long time.’
He said Charlotte was bubbling as she ate her favourite dish, creamy chicken pasta, for dinner, got every question right in her math homework and was doing ‘little happy dances’.
She also baked banana bread and took a piece to her father, still in a good mood.
After playing with her mum and little brother she said good night and ‘literally skipped to the shower’.
‘That’s the last time we saw her alive and we could not understand what had happened,’ Mat said.
Police told the couple that people can appear happy before taking their own life because they believe their problems will be solved, but Charlotte’s parents have strongly rejected that explanation.
Mat said the family had discussed their upcoming holiday, Charlotte had wanted to do a road trip, and planned math problems to work on together the next day.
‘This is not a girl that was planning on doing this. Something happened when she went to her bedroom,’ he said.
Police are searching Charlotte’s phone to see what messages she was receiving in her last hours.
Her mother, Kelly, was wracked with guilt and regret, asking why her daughter didn’t just come ‘and get me to give her a hug that night’.
She described her daughter as the ‘sweetest, kindest, toughest, strongest little diva you’ve ever met in your life’.